Thursday, 5 April 2012

That little voice in your head, no you're not crazy, you're aware :)

My life has gone through some ups and downs, and lots of turns. My latest "turn" if you will has completely got me baffled. I chose this turn, and really felt like my intuition was bang on. 

It was like I had directions right in front of me, and there was a bright, blinking arrow pointing one direction. How do you not trust that big, bold sign? You trust it, because it's so obvious, and it's being very adement with every flash for attention. So, I made a decision, travelled down the direction of the arrow. I continued for a kilometer or two, only to notice that things just didn't seem right. Nothing looked familiar, nothing felt right, I got really scared, anxious and knew I had made a huge mistake. I had to go back and go down the other way, but the only thing is that my map is gone now.

How do I get back and will I even be able to?

The normal me would go into fits of panic and worry herself sick until she was beside herself. And yes, I will admit I gave myself a taste of that. But, in the end, you have to trust that your intuition will keep you exactly where you should be. That everything is how it's supposed to be and that life always has a funny way of working things out.

There has never been a time in my life that after all the worry and the regret that I thought this isn't right. It always works out. Sometimes, just not in the "oh-so-perfect" way you have planned. That's why it is so important to live in the now and not worry about the future or past.. that's another post topic I will wait to ramble on about haha.

To this date, I do not regret a single thing in my life. There are definitely some painful memories that stand out, but do I regret their occurrence? Never. It brought me to where I am today, and shaped who I am. Everything was meant to be.

You can apply the previous "directions story" to any situation in your life where you feel that your intuition has steered you in the wrong direction. Here's the question you have to ask yourself: would you have done anything differently? When you were standing there deciding left or right, how would you have chosen differently? You wouldn't have, and that's where I feel that the phrase "everything happens for a reason" comes in.

Sure, you can feel so strongly that you made the wrong decision, and maybe you did, but, you made it for a reason. Not because you should have continued down the wrong road, but because you needed to realize that the wrong road isn't pretty and isn't what you want. Intuition is always right, and being able to listen to it will make your life a whole lot happier in the end. When we don't listen to our intuition and take the easier road because we are afraid of the unknown, short term pain or being uncomfortable we end up being unhappy long term.

What is life without happiness?

What is life without love?

In my opinion, nothing. The point to life is love and happiness :)


-Em :)

Sunday, 1 April 2012

Beyond the frames and food... where is Nirvana??? :)

"Find out who you are and do it on purpose." - Dolly Parton

Dolly Parton, your words have stuck to me more than any others before. I heard this quote, years ago, and there hasn't been a day where it hasn't popped into my head. These simple, but strong ten words express exactly what I believe to be "the point of life". Feel free to argue, disagree or dispute, but this is simply my point of view. I believe we have a lifetime to discover who we really are through exploring, learning, interacting, and by feeling every single emotion and recognizing what made you feel that way. We are all so completely different, no one can tell you how to feel, react or act. No two people are the same. So, it's up to us to find out who we are, and really find out!

Shining in solitude.
These last few months, I have been soul searching more than my whole life collectively. Not that I used to walk through life blindly, but I always felt like I was just floating in the middle - between being completely happy and unfulfilled. I thought I could compromise my happiness just so that I wouldn't feel extreme sadness either. Turns out, this is not who I am. I am a feeler, let me tell you! haha I have extremes: I cry when I'm sad, I cry when I'm happy, when I'm anxious, excited, in awe, embarrassed, or even hungry haha. Lately, I have been experiences every degree of emotion. It's been tiring, and sometimes overwhelming, but in the end, I have experienced more happiness lately than I have in a long time. The good comes with the bad right?

I still have no idea what I "want to do with my life". But, who really does? We all have a certain direction at any given moment, but no one actually knows how their life is going to unfold. We can plan each day until we are blue in the face, however, being completely present and living in the moment is perhaps the most important lesson I have learn, thus far. It is something I think I will struggle with for a long time - to not worry about the future or fret about the past. All we really have is this moment, right now. The past is just that - it has past. As for the future, it's going to happen regardless of what we are worrying about. Living in the moment is the most empowering and refreshing feeling. Getting to that state is a great challenge, but, through my meditation practices and yoga I have experienced that peaceful feeling of being present. It is so powerful to stop thinking and just... be. I now understand why 1.5 billion Buddhists, Hindus and like-minded people are searching for enlightenment. It is definitely something worth finding.

Look for the overlooked.
My thoughts wants to spill out onto this screen right now and I hardly know where to begin. So, I will leave with a list of things I plan to do to "find out who I am". I highly encourage anyone to do this "listing" practice. Especially, when your mind just wants to jumble everything up so nothing makes sense. When I make lists I try to be as specific as possible to make the goals attainable. I made a lot of lists that included goals like: "do something that scares me", "make a change", "be happy". I had no idea what those things even meant let alone when it would suffice to check them off! It motivates me, a lot, knowing that I have something to "check-off". I am quite the visual person :)

Emma Dolan's To-Do List April 2012

1. Use the paints, canvases and easel I have, so perfectly, set up in my living-room.
2. Play my guitar until I am comfortable enough to play infront of someone.
3. Tackle the photography projects I have been planning. (Models inquire within haha)
4. Learn Italian. (Always wanted to, never had the patience).
5. Run the Blue Nose Half-Marathon. (I had a dream last night where I did it in 1:45:00, ahaha not realistic time, but in my dream it felt AMAZING to have at least done the race).
6. Plan my next trip. (Once I come back from China, Amy: South America?)
7. Take cooking classes... (Kel, bingo may have to wait a week.)

Ok, head getting jumble-y again. I'll tackle this for now.

Have a great Sunday everyone!


-Em :)

New River Beach, my oasis.